Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
