Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
