i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
