so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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