the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
