Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
