JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
