What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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