garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Randomize
