Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
