No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
