i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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