college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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