I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
