I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
