I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
