Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
