I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
