im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
