I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize