Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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