I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I pour the whiskey from now on
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
