I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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