Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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