it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
