what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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