Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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