I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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