My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
wow bdsm is so cute
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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