The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
