i jhust puked up my retainher.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
