it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
