Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize