You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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