My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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