Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
