i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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