Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
