i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
