a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
