I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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