i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
