it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
