New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
