Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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