I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
