no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
