My liver just broke up with me...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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