I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Ketchup is God's man juice
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize