I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
