just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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