That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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