I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
