His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
