do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
