Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
