For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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