she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
