did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
this will be a night to untag.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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