He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize