I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize