so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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