I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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