so let's talk penis.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
