I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
