1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
