Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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