Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
